Be joyful...

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,present your requests to God. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7

"Be joyful always,pray continually;give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess. 5:16-18

These verses reminded me today that God knows the desires of my heart and in His time, things will come together, and that no matter what I have going on or how hard things seem, God is in control and He has called me to find joy always!

We went to the wedding of our friends Molly and Eddie last night. I smiled at my dear husband as the vows were being said. Always good to get a reminder of the promises you made to one another :) Congrats Mr and Mrs Brown! We love you guys!

Time Flies

Ok, so time is seriously flying. Maybe it is just me because I want this year to be over with, but I cannot believe we are almost in October. Next week my "niece" will be 1. I can still remember being at work when Tara went into labor! I am looking forward to the fall season. Lots of fun stuff going on...my birthday, Halloween, Kadee and Kevin's wedding, and Thanksgiving. I try not to get all sappy when I think of all the stuff my dad is missing because I know he is here, just in a different way. I have been reminded more and more of how blessed I am in spite of the great sadness that I feel. My husband has been so sweet lately ( maybe he did something wrong, right? jk) and I love our time we spend together. As we approach the holidays, I am trying to focus on the positive things in my life and stress only over the things I can control. Easier said than done if you know me at all, but I am definitely going to try. :)

This week...
This week isn't even over yet and I am done with it! So much to do, so little time. Did I mention I have not one but TWO weddings to be in? For a grand total of four showers, two bachelorette parties, two rehearsal dinners, and two weddings! OMG! On top of work and soon, school. Oh well...at least it is fun stuff, most of the time...:) It is almost my birthday!! I can't believe I will be 25. That's like, almost thirty. Haha. On a totally different topic, I came home the other night and was really missing my dad. I had gotten pneumonia and was unable to go to the last night of the Harvest Crusade which was about hope for the hurting. I found it online as a webcast and decided to watch it. Bad idea. Oh man the tears were a flowing. But it was good also because there really was a great message of hope. The thing I keep remembering from it was something Greg Laurie said. He said that the depth of sorrow is an indication of the depth of love. If that is the case, then I must love my dad A LOT. It is the little things that help me get though this. A random text from a friend, just checkin on me. A random message from a long lost friend that warms my heart. A hug from my amazing hubby. I am so very grateful for those of you, and you know who you are, who reach out to me, even when you don't know what to say.

Not really a daily dose, now is it?

Sooooo I have not lived up to the promise I made to myself to write on this thing regularly, but those of you who know me personally know that the month of August has been an interesting one, to say the least. And after watching Julie/Julia with my mom the other day (so cute BTW), I have decided to do this more often! I began this month like any other, work, home, work, home. Three weeks ago yesterday I was diagnosed with a left lower lobe pneumonia, and that took me out for a good week. I went back to work for two shifts only to be selected for jury duty. Oh and let me now mention that the case is a three week long murder trial. Yay me. I do have to say that the legal system is very interesting and if Loma Linda's jury pay system was what it should be, I might do this more often! JK. I had a great visit since last time I was on here with my friend Tara and baby Em. I swear she (the baby...well and Tara too :) ) gets cuter every time I see her! I cannot believe she will be one in a month. I have already started birthday shopping and I can hardly wait until October 30th when we shall be reunited!! That being said, my birthday is also fast approaching! Yay! The big 25...So in summary, I have learned this month 1. Emilee Elsasser is amazing! 2. I love my husband more than words can say! 3. Getting pregnant is harder than I ever imagined. 4. jury duty sucks 5. Pneumonia sucks too 6. God is good! 7. NELRP is an amazing program and I am so glad I got it for my student loans! That is all for now!

I give up!!

Feeling very frustrated today! Grrrrrrrrrr! On a positive note, I get to see my dear friend Tara in less than two weeks! Woohoo! Can't wait to hang out with her and little Em!

Lazy Days

So it is very hard not to be incredibly lazy when it is 110 degrees outside. The last week or so has been spent working and when I am not working, I am cleaning my house or catching up on my Tivo:). In other random news, the lemon cilantro hummus at Fresh and Easy is heavenly and their kettle corn is like 2 bucks and I am currently devouring a bag, despite the fact that I don't even like kettle corn! No news on the baby front. Still trying hard! Thank the Lord that my husband is patient with me! Some day (hopefully soon) it will all be worth it! My mom had to buy a new house and so we have been working on packing up the old house. I never knew how hard that would be for me. So many memories. I'm so grateful for my time with my dad and yet so sad that I do not have any more time with him. My dreams are where he visits me now. I had one the other day where I swear I was hugging him. It felt so real that I woke up and just cried. I guess that it is just a testament to how great his hugs are :)

Eclipse!!!!

So I am going to join the crazies and see Eclipse tonight at midnight! Not gonna lie, I am really excited. I am going to the Arclight in LA with my mom, aunt, cousin, and some of their friends. It is gonna be amazing, I am sure of it! I am also enjoying these few days off after my five day stretch. It super sucked! Gonna enjoy today, grocery shop tomorrow, and work Thursday, only to end the weekend with the fam bam. So grateful for my sister this week. Not that I am not always grateful for her but this week especially. I needed a shoulder and she definitely lent me hers. Have a great week everyone!

Happy Anniversary to us!

Three years ago, I married my best friend!!!

Vegas Baby...

So we just got back from Vegas today. We went for our three year anniversary, and man, I cannot believe it has been three years since our wedding day! I was so stressed that day! But everything was absolutely perfect and most would say it was one of the best weddings they had been to. It was definitely my favorite wedding, but then again, I am partial. Vegas was fun too! We stayed at Treasure Island and although lady luck was soooo not on our side, we enjoyed laying by the pool and even saw our fourth Cirque show, Mystere. It was a great show but I never understand the underlying meaning of those shows. What the heck do a giant baby, a huge snail, and weird peacock men have in common? Oh well. Someone must have been high on something and they are laughing all the way to the bank. We ate at our favorite low key Vegas restaurant, Diablos. The place has these huge and I mean huge steak nachos that are perfect sharing and very tasty. We also walked around the new City Center. That is definetly where I am staying next time. Sooooo nice there! And if and when I ever buy a Louis Vitton it will be from the store there. Nicest store I have ever seen in my life! Father's Day was ok too. We spent time with my family and had a BBQ and went swimming. Then we went to Rick's brother's house to have dinner. I am kinda wanting an IPad after playing with Rick's brothers! Maybe when I get an extra five hundred bucks I can talk Rick into getting me one :) After a great weekend and anniversary with my family and the hubs, I realize how lucky I am and how blessed we are!

Father's Day

Soooooo.....this is the day I was most not looking forward to ( does that make sense??). My first reaction upon waking up today was this day sucks. I just want to fast forward to tonight. But after really thinking about it and after a text from my friend Jen, I realize that today is still special. I tried to think of what I would do if my dad were here today. I would get him a card, usually sappy ( my sister and I compete for best card) and we would swim all day and he would BBQ. I would tell him how much I love him and he would hug me tight and say "Love you too BG". As I sit here listening to Van Morrison's Into the Mystic (on my Ipod "dad" playlist) I realize that I can still tell my dad how much I love him. I can still love my dad, miss my dad, long to hug my dad. We will still swim, still BBQ. But there will be a deep sense of something missing and it will be felt by everyone. This Father's Day is the first on many that will be different for me. But I can still use this reminder of the importance of dads to remember mine. And man was he great.

My first time....

So this is the first time I have ever blogged before. I have no idea who, if anyone, will ever read this, but it kinda does feel nice to vent to someone who won't/can't talk back. Of course the topic that is always on my mind is my dad. People keep telling me I should journal, or find a way to "get my thoughts and feelings out". So, here goes. I have been feeling down lately especially with fathers day approaching. Can't we just skip that day this year, or better yet, forever??? I miss him so much it hurts. I go from sad to angry in an instant. As much as I want to be pregnant ( and those who really know me know how strong this desire is:) ), I am sad that that is a part of my life that dad won't physically be a part of. There has been a lot of guilt lately too. For crying out loud, I am a nurse! Why did I not see the signs and get him to an ER sooner? I know that God has a perfect plan, but sometimes I have to admit I do not understand it one bit. I have been listening to a lot of music lately. When I miss my dad, I listen to Paul Simon or Billy Joel. When I long to see him again, I listen to either I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin or Homesick by Mercy Me. I had never really listened to the lyrics until my dad died. I Will Rise has a line in it that goes "There's a peace I've come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail. There's an anchor for my soul, I can say it is well. Jesus has overcome, and the grave is overwhelmed." Thank you Lord for revealing this song to me in a new way. A way that gives me peace and hope. The other song, equally as good, goes "You're in better place, I've heard a thousand times. And at least a thousand times, I've rejoiced for you. But the reason why I am broken, the reason why I cry, is how long must I wait to be with you." This is how I feel every day. I know where my dad is. I know he is with Jesus. But it is the selfish, worldly part of me that goes but what about us??? I pray for patience. I pray for strength. I pray that each day gets a little bit easier.