Update...

Well, I have been thinking about whether or not I was going to really share what we are going through, and after having talked it over with the hubs and people I trust, I decided to go for it. As many people know, Rick and I have been trying for some time to get pregnant. After almost of year of trying on our own, I started some medication to help induce ovulation, since it seemed my body was picky as to which month it wanted to do it naturally. I took Clomid for 4 months last year and NOTHING. After the last month didn't work, we decided to try the old fashioned way and then, if nothing happened, see the fertility Doctor again after the first of the year. The doctor had also said that I should try to lose some weight to see if that would help. So, I joined a bootcamp in Calimesa and did just that. 35 pounds later and still no baby to show for it, we decided to see Dr Jacobson again. We did our first round of IUI in June. I had two follicles and he had a post wash count of 16 million swimmers. The wait after the procedure is horrendous. Two weeks of what ifs and bam. Aunt Flow. I was sooooo bummed. Rick, my wonderful husband, was there of course to pick me up and give me the lets try again speech. So, we did. For the second attempt I had 4 follicles and he had an amazing count of 49 million. I was super distracted during my 2 week wait because my best friend was in town. I was hopeful and positive and it still didn't work. This time, double crushed. It seems like we are doing everything right and the doctor is hopeful but it still doesn't work. I am losing hope, and quickly. SO, we are here on the eve of my day 9 injection and I am praying that this will be the last shot I have to get. I want to be a mom so bad. I know that God is in control and that someday, this will happen for us. Its just that waiting is the hardest part.

It's been awhile...

Wow. I can't believe that I haven't been on here in almost a year. I wish i could say that there have been a lot of changes, but things are kinda the same for us. We are still really trying to have a baby. It is not happening for us naturally, so we have enlisted the help of a fertility doctor. Man. Trying to have a baby is expensive. How do these girls on teen mom get knocked up so darn easy? I can't wait for the day I get my BFP (positive test lingo on the fertility forums). I know that all of these sad times will not matter anymore and I will be so excited for our turn. For now, I get my baby fix through my two favorite baby boys, Lukas and Eddie. Love me some baby time! My friends and family make freakin cute kids, if I do say so myself. On the school front, I am taking the summer off. I go back in September to take another stats class (yuck!). Then it's only one more quarter until clinicals. I am soooooo nervous. But, my dad used to say that biologically, our bodies recognize nervousness and excitement the same way. He was so smart :). Still miss him everyday. Can't believe how the time has flown by. Hopefully this will be the start of me getting back into this. I love having an outlet for my thoughts, even if no one reads them. :)

Be joyful...

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,present your requests to God. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7

"Be joyful always,pray continually;give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess. 5:16-18

These verses reminded me today that God knows the desires of my heart and in His time, things will come together, and that no matter what I have going on or how hard things seem, God is in control and He has called me to find joy always!

We went to the wedding of our friends Molly and Eddie last night. I smiled at my dear husband as the vows were being said. Always good to get a reminder of the promises you made to one another :) Congrats Mr and Mrs Brown! We love you guys!

Time Flies

Ok, so time is seriously flying. Maybe it is just me because I want this year to be over with, but I cannot believe we are almost in October. Next week my "niece" will be 1. I can still remember being at work when Tara went into labor! I am looking forward to the fall season. Lots of fun stuff going on...my birthday, Halloween, Kadee and Kevin's wedding, and Thanksgiving. I try not to get all sappy when I think of all the stuff my dad is missing because I know he is here, just in a different way. I have been reminded more and more of how blessed I am in spite of the great sadness that I feel. My husband has been so sweet lately ( maybe he did something wrong, right? jk) and I love our time we spend together. As we approach the holidays, I am trying to focus on the positive things in my life and stress only over the things I can control. Easier said than done if you know me at all, but I am definitely going to try. :)

This week...
This week isn't even over yet and I am done with it! So much to do, so little time. Did I mention I have not one but TWO weddings to be in? For a grand total of four showers, two bachelorette parties, two rehearsal dinners, and two weddings! OMG! On top of work and soon, school. Oh well...at least it is fun stuff, most of the time...:) It is almost my birthday!! I can't believe I will be 25. That's like, almost thirty. Haha. On a totally different topic, I came home the other night and was really missing my dad. I had gotten pneumonia and was unable to go to the last night of the Harvest Crusade which was about hope for the hurting. I found it online as a webcast and decided to watch it. Bad idea. Oh man the tears were a flowing. But it was good also because there really was a great message of hope. The thing I keep remembering from it was something Greg Laurie said. He said that the depth of sorrow is an indication of the depth of love. If that is the case, then I must love my dad A LOT. It is the little things that help me get though this. A random text from a friend, just checkin on me. A random message from a long lost friend that warms my heart. A hug from my amazing hubby. I am so very grateful for those of you, and you know who you are, who reach out to me, even when you don't know what to say.

Not really a daily dose, now is it?

Sooooo I have not lived up to the promise I made to myself to write on this thing regularly, but those of you who know me personally know that the month of August has been an interesting one, to say the least. And after watching Julie/Julia with my mom the other day (so cute BTW), I have decided to do this more often! I began this month like any other, work, home, work, home. Three weeks ago yesterday I was diagnosed with a left lower lobe pneumonia, and that took me out for a good week. I went back to work for two shifts only to be selected for jury duty. Oh and let me now mention that the case is a three week long murder trial. Yay me. I do have to say that the legal system is very interesting and if Loma Linda's jury pay system was what it should be, I might do this more often! JK. I had a great visit since last time I was on here with my friend Tara and baby Em. I swear she (the baby...well and Tara too :) ) gets cuter every time I see her! I cannot believe she will be one in a month. I have already started birthday shopping and I can hardly wait until October 30th when we shall be reunited!! That being said, my birthday is also fast approaching! Yay! The big 25...So in summary, I have learned this month 1. Emilee Elsasser is amazing! 2. I love my husband more than words can say! 3. Getting pregnant is harder than I ever imagined. 4. jury duty sucks 5. Pneumonia sucks too 6. God is good! 7. NELRP is an amazing program and I am so glad I got it for my student loans! That is all for now!

I give up!!

Feeling very frustrated today! Grrrrrrrrrr! On a positive note, I get to see my dear friend Tara in less than two weeks! Woohoo! Can't wait to hang out with her and little Em!