Eclipse!!!!

So I am going to join the crazies and see Eclipse tonight at midnight! Not gonna lie, I am really excited. I am going to the Arclight in LA with my mom, aunt, cousin, and some of their friends. It is gonna be amazing, I am sure of it! I am also enjoying these few days off after my five day stretch. It super sucked! Gonna enjoy today, grocery shop tomorrow, and work Thursday, only to end the weekend with the fam bam. So grateful for my sister this week. Not that I am not always grateful for her but this week especially. I needed a shoulder and she definitely lent me hers. Have a great week everyone!

Happy Anniversary to us!

Three years ago, I married my best friend!!!

Vegas Baby...

So we just got back from Vegas today. We went for our three year anniversary, and man, I cannot believe it has been three years since our wedding day! I was so stressed that day! But everything was absolutely perfect and most would say it was one of the best weddings they had been to. It was definitely my favorite wedding, but then again, I am partial. Vegas was fun too! We stayed at Treasure Island and although lady luck was soooo not on our side, we enjoyed laying by the pool and even saw our fourth Cirque show, Mystere. It was a great show but I never understand the underlying meaning of those shows. What the heck do a giant baby, a huge snail, and weird peacock men have in common? Oh well. Someone must have been high on something and they are laughing all the way to the bank. We ate at our favorite low key Vegas restaurant, Diablos. The place has these huge and I mean huge steak nachos that are perfect sharing and very tasty. We also walked around the new City Center. That is definetly where I am staying next time. Sooooo nice there! And if and when I ever buy a Louis Vitton it will be from the store there. Nicest store I have ever seen in my life! Father's Day was ok too. We spent time with my family and had a BBQ and went swimming. Then we went to Rick's brother's house to have dinner. I am kinda wanting an IPad after playing with Rick's brothers! Maybe when I get an extra five hundred bucks I can talk Rick into getting me one :) After a great weekend and anniversary with my family and the hubs, I realize how lucky I am and how blessed we are!

Father's Day

Soooooo.....this is the day I was most not looking forward to ( does that make sense??). My first reaction upon waking up today was this day sucks. I just want to fast forward to tonight. But after really thinking about it and after a text from my friend Jen, I realize that today is still special. I tried to think of what I would do if my dad were here today. I would get him a card, usually sappy ( my sister and I compete for best card) and we would swim all day and he would BBQ. I would tell him how much I love him and he would hug me tight and say "Love you too BG". As I sit here listening to Van Morrison's Into the Mystic (on my Ipod "dad" playlist) I realize that I can still tell my dad how much I love him. I can still love my dad, miss my dad, long to hug my dad. We will still swim, still BBQ. But there will be a deep sense of something missing and it will be felt by everyone. This Father's Day is the first on many that will be different for me. But I can still use this reminder of the importance of dads to remember mine. And man was he great.

My first time....

So this is the first time I have ever blogged before. I have no idea who, if anyone, will ever read this, but it kinda does feel nice to vent to someone who won't/can't talk back. Of course the topic that is always on my mind is my dad. People keep telling me I should journal, or find a way to "get my thoughts and feelings out". So, here goes. I have been feeling down lately especially with fathers day approaching. Can't we just skip that day this year, or better yet, forever??? I miss him so much it hurts. I go from sad to angry in an instant. As much as I want to be pregnant ( and those who really know me know how strong this desire is:) ), I am sad that that is a part of my life that dad won't physically be a part of. There has been a lot of guilt lately too. For crying out loud, I am a nurse! Why did I not see the signs and get him to an ER sooner? I know that God has a perfect plan, but sometimes I have to admit I do not understand it one bit. I have been listening to a lot of music lately. When I miss my dad, I listen to Paul Simon or Billy Joel. When I long to see him again, I listen to either I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin or Homesick by Mercy Me. I had never really listened to the lyrics until my dad died. I Will Rise has a line in it that goes "There's a peace I've come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail. There's an anchor for my soul, I can say it is well. Jesus has overcome, and the grave is overwhelmed." Thank you Lord for revealing this song to me in a new way. A way that gives me peace and hope. The other song, equally as good, goes "You're in better place, I've heard a thousand times. And at least a thousand times, I've rejoiced for you. But the reason why I am broken, the reason why I cry, is how long must I wait to be with you." This is how I feel every day. I know where my dad is. I know he is with Jesus. But it is the selfish, worldly part of me that goes but what about us??? I pray for patience. I pray for strength. I pray that each day gets a little bit easier.